Little Girl Lost
by ForgottenPages
Summary: What began as a carefree weekend with his baby girl turns into a living nightmare when he loses her in Central Park. One-Shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own _Castle_ or any of its original characters. **

* * *

My skin burns like ice; my chest cinched and compressed; and my muscles weak and cold. I can't breathe, can't think straight. Blood is pounding in my head so hard I can hear and feel it throbbing. And my stomach is turning and knotting and tightening. I'm going either faint or throw-up, I think. My own voice sounds foreign, distant, and garbled to my ears as I shout over and over again, "Sarah Grace! Sarah Grace! Answer me!"

I can't turn my head fast enough, I can barely focus my eyes on anything as they jump from face-to-face-to face. "Please," I say, grabbing a passerby's arm to stop her, "have you seen a little girl? About three feet tall, blue eyes, blond hair?"

She looks irritated. "No," she remarks, pulling her arm away.

I keep looking. I keep telling myself I need to remain calm, take deep breaths, handle the situation like a level-headed cop. But right now, I'm not a cop. I'm a dad. And my little girl is gone.

* * *

 _One day earlier…_

* * *

"You're going to be a good girl for daddy, aren't you, Sarah Grace?" Jenny asked our 3-year-old, tucking a rowdy piece of blond curl behind our baby's ear.

Sarah Grace's round, dimpled features were serious as she nodded. "Yes, Mommy," she said.

Jenny smiled. "I know you will. I'm going to miss you so much, sweetie pie. Now give me kisses." Sarah Grace leaned forward, lips exaggeratedly puckered to receive the promised good-bye kiss. Jenny delivered it with a loud, "Mwah!"

I stood by the door, holding Jenny's weekend bag. It was heavier than it needed to be, I think, but Jenny insisted she needed every hair product and device she owns, along with two extra changes of clothing besides the extra changes she already has. _Women_ , I thought with grin.

Jenny stood upright. "As for you, Mr. Ryan," she said with faux severity, "you be a very good boy while I'm gone, and don't get into any trouble."

"Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Ryan," I said.

"Kisses?" Jenny asked coyly. We share an indulgent kiss goodbye before Jenny pulled away with a bright smile. "Will that last you the weekend?"

"No, but I'll make it work," I replied with a wink.

Jenny gave me a look, and took her bag. "Thanks again for letting me do this, Kev. I really need it."

"And you deserve it," I said. "You have a good time, and don't worry about Sarah Grace or me. We'll be fine."

"I know," Jenny said. "But please don't only survive on take-out. You know how to boil water."

"Bye, babe," I said, ignoring her last comment.

As soon as she's out the door, and it is closed soundly behind her, Sarah Grace latched onto my hand, and began to drag me towards her bedroom. "C'mon, Daddy," she said happily, "let's play Barbies!"

It's my least favorite game to play; however, her exuberance doesn't give me the heart to say no. "Sure, sweetie. For a little bit. And then we're going to go get hotdogs for dinner."

"Okay," Sarah Grace agreed cheerfully.

* * *

 _Present time…_

* * *

My phone rings. Purely out of habit, I answer. "I can't talk right now," I say.

Before I can hang-up, a concerned voice asks, "Ryan, what's wrong?"

It's Castle. I suddenly feel like he's the only one who could possibly understand my situation. Of course he is. He's the only one in my small circle of friends who has ever had a little girl. I grip my phone, and I can't keep the desperate panic out of my voice. "Castle, I can't find Sarah Grace." I'm still weaving through the crowd, my eyes bouncing from body to body so fast I feel dizzy.

"What?" Castle asks. He sounds confused and worried.

"She was right here, holding my hand," I explain, my voice and words trip over themselves in my hurry to get them out, "and next thing I know, she's not, and I can't find her. Castle, what do I do? I can't find my daughter!" Tears sting my eyes, and my nose tickles. I sniff and run my hand across my eyes to clear them.

"Ryan, just stop," Castle demands firmly. "Stop what you're doing, right now."

"What?" I breathe. "I can't, Sarah Grace is—"

"If you want to find your daughter, you'll listen to me. Close your eyes."

"Castle!"

"Ryan." Castle's voice is calm, severe, and firm.

I clamp my mouth shut and do as he says unwillingly.

"Now," he continues. "Take a deep breath. Hold it for five seconds and let it out slowly. Do that three times." He waits while I do it, and he must be counting himself, because as soon as I let the third breath out, he goes on, "Good. Now, where are you?"

"I'm at Central Park. Sarah Grace and I just left the zoo…"

"Can you see the zoo from where you're at?"

I turn to look. "Yeah."

"Is it very crowded?"

"A little…"

"Go back to the zoo. As you go, look around for her. But my bet is, she went back to see her favorite furry friends, don't you think, Kevin?"

"Yeah, yeah," I agree eagerly. That makes sense to me. Why didn't I think of that before?

As I walk, I scan the crowd again. This time, I feel like I can focus, pick through the sea of people with more care and accuracy. Castle talks as I go. I barely hear anything he says, but his voice is confident and reassuring.

"Daddy!" a tiny voice calls out.

Immediately, my eyes go to its source. There is Sarah Grace, hand-in-hand with a woman trailed by two older children. My knees give out just then, but I'm saved in the fact that it looks like I'm just getting down on Sarah Grace's level. I hold out my arms to her, and the woman lets her go. Sarah Grace runs to me, her pale, baby curls bouncing on her shoulders. Her face is red and swollen from crying, and shiny snot runs out her nose like a faucet left on. When she is safely in my arms, she wipes her face off on my shirt, but I don't care. I press my face against the top of her head, and breathe deeply the smell of berry-scented shampoo.

"I've been looking all over for you, baby girl," I say, "You scared me!"

"I found her by the zoo entrance," the woman says, walking up. "She was crying, saying she lost her daddy, so I offered to help her look, poor thing."

I lift my head to look at her. "Thank you so much. Thank you."

"I've been where you're at," the woman says with a sympathetic smile. "These guys have given me more than my fair share of heart attacks." She indicates the boys behind her, who grin back at me sheepishly.

"Thank you again," I say.

She nods and walks away with her sons.

I'm still on the ground, Sarah Grace enclosed tightly in my arms. The immense relieved joy that had overwhelmed my fear is swept away by a wave of anger. I take Sarah Grace's arms and hold her out just far enough from me that I can see her tearstained and snotty face. "Don't you ever run off again like that, do you understand?" I scold.

She nods, and my anger dispenses again to relief and happiness. I pick her up, and she rests her head on my shoulder. I suddenly remember my phone, and look down to see it laying face up in the grass. With some effort, I manage to shift Sarah Grace around, kneel, and pick it up. The phone is still on, and the line still open with Castle. I put the phone to my ear. "I found her, Castle," I say.

"I heard," Castle replies, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

I release a shuddering sigh. "I've never been so scared in my life. The panic that came over me, it was like I couldn't control it…"

"I know," Castle says. "I've felt it myself with Alexis. I know all the tricks of the trade."

"Thank you," I say.

"Anytime, Ryan. Glad I could help."

I remember that he must have called me for some other reason. "I'm sorry. Did you need something? I totally interrupted…"

"Oh, no. Beckett told me you were spending the weekend alone with Sarah Grace while Jenny was on a ladies' retreat. I thought I'd call and see how you were holding up."

"Excellent timing," I say, smiling.

"Sure was," Castle agreed. He clears his throat. "Well, I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks again."

The phone disconnects, and I put it in my back pocket. Sarah Grace's head becomes heavier, and her body limp. I can tell she's fallen asleep. I kiss her soft cheek. "I love you, baby girl," I whisper. And then a new worry sprouts. "What am I going to tell your mother?"

END


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